This Blog Post is for the Guys! Ladies if you read it, be sure to be excited if the guy in your life takes the hint and follows the advise in this post.
Ok Guys! I’m going to let you in on a little secret. In today’s world of high technology gadgetry, romance is frequently played out in sexting and steamy YouTube minutes. Frankly, indulging in those practices should be done sparingly because here’s a Top Secret: most women will never settle for that kind of romance for very long, and its less time than you think! Yeah Guys, it’s called a ‘relationship’ for a reason. And take my word for it, Advanced Stage Relationships (ASRs) are a nearly impossible quest using your IPhone or Blackberry.
Here’ the thing. ASRs are where you want to be. When you have an ASR with your lady, you have graduated from the transactional one-date-at-a-time relationship to the rare but valuable position of “trusted” relationship. Why is this trusted relationship valuable? You know…that’s the place where special perks lie dormant in your lady’s imagination. You must earn that ever so elusive place on her special guy list–and it’s a very short list indeed.
So you ask? How do I earn an ASR with my lady? Bad news, it’s Top Secret! More bad news! Every lady seems to have a different lock and key to her secret. The Solution: try searching for the key by having frequent in-person contact.
Take hope though. There are a couple of universal keys to look for. For example, one thing I know for sure is that an ASR will only grow and develop when it’s not crumbling under the weight of boredom, neglect and the lack of imagination on your part. Another thing I know is that INTIMACY (Whoa! A Very Scary Word!) is one of the keys to acquiring the secret. In fact, I’d go so far as to share that without multiple sessions of talking with her in soft tones in private conversation, the key will be forever in a secret hiding place. And by ‘talking’ I really mean listening more than talking. Yeah! This is really hard stuff!
Therefore, it’s important, really, really important, for you to create imaginative situations where conversation is a main event for the date. So it’s time for us to venture into the simplest of all ‘cooking’, and turn it into one of the Top Secret Best Dates Ever! You can do this! I know you can!
It’s called a Picnic! I don’t know a woman who doesn’t love a picnic, particularly if the guy has handled all the preparations, chosen the perfect day, and selected an intimate spot in a park or near a water feature. And if you make it a surprise, I guarantee she’ll be thrilled.
And guys, this is a piece of cake. Just remember the food is not the main event–this is all about getting closer to her heart and gaining some intimacy. Stay focused on the end game!!
For the ‘cooking’, use your imagination to create a great Menu!! Stay with me now–I know you’re getting confused but hang in there!!
Go to the local deli, Whole Foods or upscale grocery store and buy 2 or 3 small pieces of ‘romantic’ cheeses like a soft Brie, a piece of Jarlsberg, or a nice chunk of Parmesan-Reggiano. Buy a few thin slices of really good Parma Prosciutto or Honey-Baked Ham. On your way over to the produce section to get a mixed selection of berries, grapes or ripe peaches, find some Greek green or Italian black cured olives for the cart. Next on the list is a fresh-baked French Baguette or loaf of Rustic Italian Bread. Finally, if you don’t already have them at home (which all guys should) buy some Extra Virgin Olive Oil (EVOO), a high quality balsamic vinegar and the secret weapon for this picnic–a nice high-quality honey. Stop at the bakery section and look for something sweet you know she’ll love—brownies or chocolate chip cookies are always a hit!! One last thing–and most importantly–buy one YELLOW rose. Yellow is the color for friendship– trust me –this will be an over the fence home run!
Listen up! Guys. If your main squeeze is a vegan, not much of the above menu is going to work. PS-honey is not vegan. No problem! Most stores have a great selection of vegetarian and vegan offerings in their prepared food section. If she has other food preferences–again no problem. Just buy some of her favorite foods, keep it simple and improvise.
On the way home, go to the wine store and pick up a couple bottles of Italian Prosecco. Don’t worry, it’s not expensive. It comes in bottles and pops the cork just like champagne. It’s a sparkling white wine, easy to drink, not high in alcohol and shows you have knowledge, imagination and class.
Now go home, get out your cooler to keep the cold things cold and a picnic basket or canvas bag to carry some nice plates (no paper!!) some silverware, a good knife, cutting board and some nice (preferably cloth) napkins. You’ll need three or four small saucers for the honey, balsamic and olive oil and olives. Come on…Man up and Just Do It!! Don’t forget a couple of champagne flutes or wine glasses. Then grab a nice blanket to share, and you are good to go!
Pick up your lady in a clean car or on a freshly washed bicycle and head out to the selected location to find that special spot.
I know you are proud of your preparations, but don’t pull everything out at once. Pace yourself. You have all afternoon.
Start with some Prosecco. Talk a little. After awhile, pull out some of the cheese and fruit and put out the bread, and saucers of honey, balsamic and olive oil for dipping. Cheese dipped in honey is an amazing taste treat, and strawberries dipped in balsamic vinegar is impossible to describe. Talk (Listen) some more. OOPs, you just answered a call or checked your IPhone—lost some ground there. Try a bit harder!!
Now’s the time to pull out the rose, and from your heart, tell her how special this day has been for you, and how much you cherish the friendship you have with her. If you made it this far, you have put some serious relationship building on the foundation. More yet to come.
A little later add the meats and olives to the board. Keep the Prosecco flowing, but only gently. We are looking for ‘memorable moments’ here, and if she’s ‘tipsy’, she’ll forget about your Top Secret Best Date Ever!, and you won’t get the key to her Top Secret either.
Finally, when things are beginning to wind down, pull out the sweets you brought and finish off the last of the Prosecco. By now the heart has been warmed up but it’s getting a little chilly out there. If the blanket gets wrapped around the two of you, well…I’m thinking you can take it from here!!
Categories: Best Posts--In My Opinion, Funny Little Moments, Great Menus, Great Recipes, Loving Life!
You’re really cooking!
It’s a perfect time of year for an outdoor picnic. Will you be blogging about indoor picnics later in the year?
We think alike because I made a note in my ‘idea notebook’ i set up last week on Jen’s recommendation to make sure I did something like that next December or january when theres 2 ft of snow out there.
this is friggin hilarious. i love it. but i NEEEED to see some photos, ok? also: your lede (a journalistic term for the front-end hook in the story) is like over 400 words. it’s too slow a build-up. in your next post, get to the point (e.g., the picnic) within 150-200 words max. …
also, dude: if you’re going to have a blog that includes very sensual descriptions of “Hot! Guy” food and moves, you can’t say something is “impossible to describe.” you have to try to describe it. you’re making my mouth water here, and telling me something is impossible to describe is debbie downer, man.
(also, what if your date is not only vegan but sober?)
also, stay away from the multiple!!!! exclamation points… just a suggestion.
awesome. please continue 🙂
Your comment are not only encouraging but dead on. I’m glad you are enjoying the blog–so am I. ‘the impossible’ worked because it was meant to activate reader imagination–in whatever direction it takes them. But I got your very well made point. I also get the picture importance and I’m beginning to get myself some good ones to use. Really really good point on acknowledging sober. and OK on the !!!. see you later today.