First Posted on May 20, 2012
Whoever said the fastest way to a man’s heart is through the kitchen did not know women very well! Maybe that’s the way it was 50 years ago, but it is my considered observation that today’s modern woman has evolved into substantially more than a wife (or girlfriend), mom, cook, housekeeper and laundress whose only interest is getting and keeping a guy. And the very last thing on their to-do list is mastering cooking skills to ‘acquire’ a guy.
In fact, we are lucky to live and work among multiple generations of really smart and talented women who can succeed in a career, run a business, a family and a household, all at the same time, and usually without much support from the guys around them. That’s scary, because we all know there are very few guys that can, or even want to effectively multi-task at that high level of performance. Furthermore, even if our ladies aren’t doing all of those things simultaneously, they will continue to find us attractive and worth keeping in their stable only if we can demonstrate above-average sensitivity to the things important to them, and if we occasionally do something that meaningfully validates we give a damn about and appreciate them. These are indeed special ladies, and we need to do our part to convince them we are deserving of the title we all want: To Be Hot!! It’s not easy. It’s a big challenge. But it is possible with a lot of hard work, persistence and undistracted dedication to the objective!
This is only my opinion, but in the vernacular of many women of modern genre, being considered Hot!, means much more than having good looks, a great car, smart clothes and a fat wallet to buy evenings on-the-town and occasional flowers. And even if your prowess in the dark is second-to-none, we all know that it’s what happens during the daylight hours that most accurately predicts the mood we’ll discover when the sun sets. Come on guys–if you have had just one relationship with a special lady, you know this statement to be much more than speculation—it’s a fact!! And it’s a fact of life we are unlikely to change anytime soon.
To wit, I’ve been married to the same special lady for nearly 40 years, and according to her, I still have a lot to learn about how to keep her happy and hungry for more of what I have to offer. Furthermore, most of our friends know I continue to be a seriously challenging project-in-process for my wife. Fortunately, I learned very early in our relationship that cooking a breakfast, lunch or dinner will always make her day. Furthermore, if I cook several days in a row, she’ll temporarily anoint me HOT! for a day or two. And on those dark days involving a personally delivered relationship faux pas, I discovered there was no sin my wife wouldn’t forgive me (‘forgetting’ is another matter all together to be addressed in some future blog) as long as I prepared and presented a rich, chocolaty, homemade dessert. And make no mistake, I have created many ‘dark day’s’ in my married life, and have therefore mastered chocolate-based desserts. It’s one of my specialties!!
Let’s be fair. My wife tells me I have many redeeming characteristics. I’ve been a good provider, I’m still a fun date, an adventurous traveler, and a loving, caring husband and family man. But in my wife’s world, that’s the bare minimum to keep a stall in the stable. Accordingly, it should not surprise you that I’ve spent the better part of my adult years learning incrementally valuable skills that will sustain and further endear me to her.
One of the things she loves about our relationship is that I have learned to cook–and I can cook quite well. It’s not that she can’t cook, because she is a great cook. But we prefer healthy, home-cooked meals during the week, and being able to share the load of that daily chore makes an unmistakable difference in the stability and vitality of our relationship. And guys, like it or not, I’m pretty sure most contemporary women share that point of view. They even talk about it regularly on the Oprah and Dr. Oz shows! And guys, they take those shows seriously—my wife takes notes! No kidding!
Actually, most guys already know this little relationship secret about cooking, but many of us guys are just not comfortable in the kitchen. Some of us are even worried our other guy friends will think us less a guy if we master some of these skills. Some of us are just plain lazy and not interested in making the small investment in time and energy it takes to become comfortable. Ok, this blog is not for you, but I’m giving you fair warning: your tenure in the stable is on a short bridle!! But if you have read this far in HotCookingGuys, I’m guessing you are on the verge of making the commitment to get Hot! In the Kitchen. So, as the Nike commercial states: Just Do It!
And for those ladies who have thought to infiltrate this little guy’s world, we are happy to have you along to enrich, validate and/or correct our thinking about how we can successfully create those special experiences for you around food, wine, ambiance and mood. As I mentioned earlier, my wife continues to be dedicated to her ‘project-in-process’, and I am almost certain she will be a regular contributor.
Welcome! To Hot Cooking Guys!!
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